July 20, 2017
As I held her with all my might, every emotion but one escaped from me. And as I got her to the ground, every instinct but one left me. She was no longer breathing, and her pulse could not be felt. My fears were overtaken by every action but one, to do what I could to help her. And as I started working to revive her, I did the one thing I knew could make a difference. I prayed. With each action I took to get her heart beating again, I prayed. I called out to the Lord as loudly as I could, begging Him to be with her. To breathe life back into her. And in those few seconds, that seemed to move like hours, I saw those prayers answered, as I watched her take in a precious breath.
As so many of you know, my mom recently suffered a stroke. What few know, is just how close my family came that day to losing her. It came on her suddenly, and within a moment she collapsed. I happened to be next to her as the stroke hit, and was able to somehow catch her before she hit the ground. And as I hurriedly called 911, I could not feel her pulse, and her breathing had stopped. With the 911 operator on the phone, I was able to put into place the CPR training I had learned many years before. And as the paramedics arrived at the door, her breathing was light, and her pulse was again faint. She had regained a slight bit of consciousness, and was able to barely squeeze my hand. But with each squeeze, hope was felt, as I knew a desperate prayer had not only been heard, it had just been answered.
As I now look back on that day, I think to myself, “what if the situation had been different”? Throughout that day, my concerns for her were countless. But with each of those concerns, one constant remained. That one constant was Christ. Through each moment He was there, and His presence would strongly be felt. No matter what she had faced that day, He had His arms around her, never leaving her alone for even a second. And a comfort and peace remained present in knowing He was there. A priceless blessing that day, not only for her, but for all the family as we gathered around her.
The day will come in each of our lives, when our heart and our breathing will not be able to be revived. A day when this world will no longer be called our home. A day that no matter the tears that fill the eyes of our loved ones, is a day that we all know we will one day face. And on that day, no matter what this world may throw at us, will our families know our life has been blessed?
With my own health, that day and that blessing has found its’ way to my thoughts often lately. On a day when this world no longer hears my voice, and thoughts of me soon become nothing more than a memory, how will those feel who are drawn close to me? Despite knowing they will miss me, will my life leave a comfort and a peace in them? Will they walk away from that day feeling blessed by me? Or will they leave my side with nothing but worries for me? On a future day, far after my last day, what will be the first thought they have of me?
As I sat with my mom that day, I realized what those memories of her would always be. Many who know my mom, see the constant smile on her face, the kindest of words she is quick to speak, and the true concern she has for those around her. A woman that would place the needs and concerns of a complete stranger above her own. But as I sat with her that day, my thoughts did not bring me back to those times she shared with others, or even to times the two of us had shared, but to quiet times I saw her by herself. Often, in those quiet moments, you can find yourself walking in on her, alone with her Bible in hand. Not worried about the world around her, but enjoying a few precious moments alone with the One who has always been with her. Quietly reading His Word without a person seeing her, and praying for others without even a thought of herself. It is in those moments, that brought me a comfort as I sat in the emergency room that day. And it is in those moments, that I know just how blessed she is, and how my life is blessed by her. And it is in those moments, that I pray others will one day also remember me.
Many today hear the word “blessing”, and they think of something that brings us happiness or stability to our welfare. But when God speaks the word to us, He is saying so much more. The Bible uses more than one word for blessing, using primarily two different words in both the Hebrew and the Greek. When we look at both those words in Hebrew, we see not only the happiness and security of God directing us referred to, but we see it also mentioned as a congratulation and as a reward. In the Greek, we see it referred to as the happiness that we find in purpose and fulfillment through our Lord. And we also see it in Greek referring to the good works and good reports than those around us speak about us, and it is from this word that we get our word “eulogy”. But to best understand this word, I do not think we can individually look at each root of this word. I fully believe to understand what God means when He says “blessed”, we must look together at all the roots of the word. It is only when we look at them together that we can begin to see what a “blessing” truly is.
To fully understand this, I think we can look at one of the most famous blessings in all the Bible, the blessing that God gave to Abraham. “I will bless those who bless you, and whoever curses you I will curse; and all peoples on earth will be blessed through you."(Genesis 12:3). Here we can see what a true blessing is, and the root of each word is brought into meaning. Abraham was blessed because in him we can see a happiness and security that came from God directing his life. Abraham was blessed by the reward his faithfulness brought him. Abraham was blessed by the purpose and fulfillment that God brought to this world through him. And Abraham was blessed by the memories of his good works that God did with him. It is only when we look at the fullness of this word, can we begin to understand what a blessing from God means to our life. A blessing we remember when we think of Abraham. A blessing that was there with me in the hospital as i sat with my mom. And a blessing I hope will one day also be present and understood when many are thinking of me.
On the day I draw my last breath, and as those close to me are drawn to my side, I pray that through the tears they realize just how blessed my life has been. And as they think of me, I pray it is that blessing that quickly comes to their mind, drying away each of those tears. I pray they remember and are blessed by the happiness and security that Christ brought to me. They are blessed by remembering the amazing reward that His promise has given me. That they are blessed and remember the purpose His love, mercy, and grace found in me. And I pray their lives will always be blessed by the good works that only His hand could have done with me. And as i leave this world, they will not find themselves filled with sadness, but a comfort and a peace will encompass them, as they know the One who now has His arms so tightly surrounding me. And on a future day, as they think back on me, I pray it is not my face that they form an image of. I pray instead that it will be His face they will see, praying a glimpse of Him will always be remembered when they think of me. And with each passing thought, I hope a smile comes to their face. A smile they also desire to have others remember them by. A smile that helps all to remember, just how blessed He has made my life. A smile, that through all my fears, was on my face as I sat with my mom that day in the emergency room.
Praying each of you are blessed.
